Depression and Rainbows

I have had depression nearly my whole life, but I’ve been actively treating it for about 10 years now. I’m happy to say that things are much, much better than they were a decade ago.

Before I became depressed (which happened when I was around adolescence) I was super into colors. As I grew older and my depression began to take hold I became quickly discouraged and the palate of my life softened into earth tones, grays, browns, and black.

Now I love earth tones, and the gray of a cloudy day makes me feel warm and snuggly. Tree trunks are brown, and without a black night sky there would be no stars to see! But the other colors, hues and tones deserve time in the spotlight of my life as well.

So What I am doing now is reversing that process, and slowly bringing more color into my life. I do believe that my treatment is “over the hump” of the most difficult decisions and processes, and it’s now only a matter of time until I can say that I “had” depression for most of my life. It may be a long time, but I do believe that day might come.

Never Stop Exploring

We have been watching Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s “Cosmos” lately and it is super inspiring! Total dream of mine = working on visual effects for TV or Movies! And Cosmos has a BEAUtiful line up of graphics, animation, diagrams, illustrations, ahhh I’m drooling!
When we were watching the last part, about how expansive time and the universe is, I realized I occupy so little. But Neil said something new too. He talked about Carl Sagan (who made the first Cosmos in the 80’s) and how he inspired and mentored the young Neil.

It instantly hit me as an “aha!” moment. That even though we as individuals will only live so long and discover so much, we can leave behind a legacy by inspiring, teaching, and encouraging the younger generation.

The words here are inspired by that idea. My “message” to those younger, and to all of us! Never stop exploring. Discover what those before us didn’t and when we’re gone, those who come after us will discover what we didn’t. Keep going, keep exploring, and keep on learning!

Go With The Flow

I have a natural ebb and flow of productivity. I strive for and desire consistency, but my natural process seems to come in “spurts” of productivity, followed by more relaxed periods of just getting the basics of my routine out of the way.

I often find myself comparing my productive days with my basic days and can feel like I’m “failing” on my more relaxed days. I’m building a foundation of accepting that flow and trying to work with it rather than against it, realizing that by getting up each day and continuing to chip away, no matter how passionately or tenderly I do so, I am making progress.

It’s kind of like this doodle! One big waterfall goes into a pond, which has lots of little waterfalls that combine again to create larger waterfalls later on down the cascade. It’s the diversity of big falls and little falls that make the whole thing so beautiful!

Bloom

We’ve had this spider plant for 5 years and it’s never done this before! So it made me think… :)

Try

I used this snippet of the larger quote “Courage doesn’t always roar, sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow'” by Mary Anne Radmacher

Just a little reminder to myself and you. No matter your judgement of your progress today, progress is progress and what matters most is that you get up again tomorrow and you try.

Try until you make it. Try for yourself, try for me, try.

Someday, the world will thank you for never giving up. Until then, I thank you.

Thank you for trying with me.

Scribbles

Creative works post for today is a peek at my artistic process. I literally scribble with colored pencils when I’m first coming up with an idea.

 

This image is going to transition into a full size acrylic painting within the next few weeks. But right now it looks almost offensive!

 

I realized how I felt about this sketch and knew I had to share it. Every work of art starts somewhere. Every single one. Just keep working on it and you will be amazed at the transformation that happens before your very eyes!

 

A Heart that Listens

 

I’ve been very nervous to share both this image and this video! I was recently inspired by a beautiful meeting with Molly Hahn and Ash Ruiz and felt called to create imagery and a video to go along with it.

This heart represents the growth of a heart that listens, a heart that loves, and a heart that is perfect in every way.

The video (see it below or click here: http://youtu.be/BMU-umPPLfg) is my own exploration of what it means to be “good enough” and to contribute to the world.

I hope it touches your heart! Thank you for joining me on this journey and supporting my shares! I love you all.

 

Courage

 

One of my favorite quotes is “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying “I will try again tomorrow” ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

 

I can resonate a lot with that feeling lately. I’m going through a major transition in my life and trying to go about business “As usual”. Of course, my energy is low so I fall behind the goals I set for myself on most days. But each day I re-evaluate, try to choose more reasonable goals for the next day, and tell myself “I will try again tomorrow.”

 

Can you relate? Tell me about it below.

 

 

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Philburt

 

Philburt isn’t like the other phoenix folk. Most phoenix are colored orange, yellow, or red to represent the fire they are associated with.

Not Philburt. Philburt is… well… green!

Most phoenix BURST INTO FLAMES at the end of their cycle, and start over anew as a little chick.

Not Philburt. Philburt BURSTS INTO – … leaves.

Philburt doesn’t mind being different. He kind of likes it. Green is a great color anyway! Trees are green, after all. And so is grass!

Philburt’s friends like to play in the nearby volcano, hopping over lava bubbles and splashing around in the acidic springs.

Philburt, on the other hand, prefers the pond. He swims with the frogs, and suns himself with the turtles. He catches bugs and munches on all the algae he wants. His mother did always tell him “You are what you eat Philburt”, but Philburt was green long before he started eating algae.

Philburt leads a good life, and he never gets lonely. He likes things the way they are. He’s a happy phoenix.

Philburt doesn’t yet know just how important he is.

 

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